Kellie calls ’em Fred Flinstone feet.
I have big feet. Not “circus big” – just big. Size 13. Had a woman call today and ask my size. I said, “13”. She said I “sounded” like someone with big feet. I took that as a compliment. In my world – men with little feet are “girlie men”. They have whiney high pitched voices – and run from trouble like Forrest Gump. Big feet guys would include manly men like John Wayne. I don’t know this for sure, I just imagine John Wayne had big feet. Don’t you? I mentioned my size on air – not realizing I was offending men with small feet listening. They are insecure enough without having to endure a low voiced manly man – ribbing them about their Cinderella feet. In my family the mens feet are big. I’ve produced two sons with big feet and a daughter with pretty big feet too. We all have a larger than average “platform” on which to balance. Big feet are good for a persons esteem. I feel slightly better about myself having big feet. If you have small feet – you will never know the joy I feel everyday. I can punt a football 40 yards and kick off a tee 50. I can lift you off your feet kicking you in the butt – and can kill thousands of swarming ants in one stomp.
I’ve received mail today from men offended by my comments. Women are laughing and reporting to me their husbands size. One women even wants to date me. I knew it. Big feet gets the girls.